On Sunday the 15th we had to call in to find out when our transfer would be...Day 3 or Day 5. Rob and I were convinced that Day 5 is the best since we had a Day 3 transfer the first time that didn't work and our Day 5 transfer ended in pregnancy. We were at Rob's parent's house celebrating Christmas and watching football when I had to excuse myself to the bedroom to make the phone call to the clinic to listen to our "message" to see what our instructions were. My heart was pounding in my chest and then she said "your transfer will take place, tomorrow, 12/16." I felt devastated. Our 13 little eggs must not have been achieving rock star status in the lab. I wrote down all my instructions and then went back out to the living room to try to enjoy the rest of our visit. The Packer game came on and we watched the miserable first half, and then it was time to head home at halftime .
My ovaries had hurt pretty bad from Friday through Sunday. Extra strength Tylenol was my friend. When we got home Randy and Alyson came over so Randy could help Rob carry sheet rock into our basement. Thank goodness for his help. Once they left, I was happy to put my jogging pants on to give my ovaries a break. I started getting ready for our trip in the morning. Gathering meds, cleaning the house up a bit. Then Rob turned the game back on and we saw the Packer's amazing comeback! What a game! I had posted on Facebook about how Rob and I were not confident in a Day 3 Transfer. We got wonderful encouraging supportive comments from friends, and Larry said "I almost gave up on the Packers and look what they did. I refuse to think negative thoughts in your case. PMA (positive mental attitude)." He always has to remind me to have PMA. He (and you all) must think I'm the most negative person in the world....but c'mon, after the year and a half that we've been through, it gets darn hard to hang onto the positive.
That night Rob got the van all ready with my "bed" in the back and we went to bed dreading another 4 hour drive in the morning.
We were on the road by 7:30 on Monday. We knew snow was coming so we did our best to try to get to MN before hitting any snow. We made it to just before I-94 when the snow started coming down.
This was just the beginning. Shortly after this it was whiteout conditions. You could not see more than 10 feet in front of you. It was VERY scary. All I could think was, if there is an accident up ahead you would never see it until you would plow into it yourself. We thankfully made it RIGHT ON TIME for our noon appointment. Along the way I had to empty my bladder at 11am and start refilling it, and I had to take advil...I was able to keep on schedule with all those instructions even in spite of the storm.
Once at the clinic I had to have an OHSS check. They take blood from you. MORE BLOOD! My veins had been tapped more in the last year and a half than they have in my entire lifetime. Then they weigh you (I had to throw out a disclaimer that we did just have Christmas at my in-laws the day before which does mean increased food intake!) then they take you to the back and measure your bloated tummy and take your blood pressure. I had Courtney do all these tests for me. She's been someone at RMIA that we've worked with since the beginning. She knows us well. She said "Well, we're going to get you pregnant today, so that's exciting..." and so that was my opportunity to open up to her and give her a full display of my non-PMA. :) I told her how we thought 13 was not a good number (since the last 2 times we had 22). She said "13 is a GOOD number." Then I confessed that we thought day 3 transfer was a bad sign and she just reassured me that the doctor and the embryologist know what is the best day to go with. All things I already knew, but it always feels better to hear it from someone in the RMIA system.
We then went back to the little room they have you wait in for the embryologist to come in. Courtney went out to the waiting room to get Rob to bring him back where I was waiting. I could hear them chatting coming down the hall about how bad the roads were. I am so lucky to have such a confident man in all things. There is nothing he doesn't tackle full on. He never let me know yesterday that the roads were making him nervous. But the stress did tire him out more than usual...poor guy, he still had 4 hours to drive home, with me passed out and not seat belted in on a mattress in the back!
Then a nurse came in and went over our discharge instructions. Basically could only lay flat yesterday and today can just sit in a recliner. No shower. Only get up to go to the bathroom. Thankfully my mom is coming to make me lunch and deal with my pet's food and potty situations! This is why I'm home today blogging instead of being at work. (OMG, work! I haven't been there since Thursday and this is the busiest time of year for me. I will have SO much to do before the end of the year. Nervous, but I will get it done, I always do).
It was time to take my Valium and then I got as tired as Rob! We both sort of took a nap with our heads laid down on the table like lazy high school students while we waited for the Embryologist. I mean, I literally fell asleep, and I'm sure he did too! Finally Will, our embryologist came in. Another guy who we've gotten to know well through this process! Will showed us the picture of our embryos. We have quite a collection of these now. He said out of 13, 8 were mature enough to be fertilized. Of those 8 one stopped growing right away. The 2 we had put in yesterday were the 2 best of what was left. The remaining they will continue to try to culture in the lab and try to grow them long enough to freeze...but it doesn't sound promising. I have to call on Thursday to see if any were frozen. They used to mail you a letter, but now you get to call, which is much quicker and more convenient.
Of the 2 that we put in, one was an 8 cell embryo (which is where they should be by Day 3) and one was a 6 cell, so a little behind. He says sometimes they are slow growing and then have a growth spurt. They had a grade of 1.2 and 1.7. They did assisted hatching with them so if/when they do reach the blastocyst stage, they have a better chance of hatching out and attaching to the uterine lining. Here are their pictures:
Rob and I were joking while we waited in the room for the Embryologist to come in. We always "name" our embryos. The first time we had Hoorhay and Bobby. The second time was Woody. The two frozen cycles I guess we didn't name them. But we felt these 2 new fresh ones needed names. I've been so negative about this whole process, just certain that it wouldn't work, and Rob has been calling me Negative Nancy. My friend Heidi has called me Debbie Downer. (You all remember Debbie Downer, right? The famous SNL skit where Rachel Dratch and her cast mates can't keep it together during the skit with Lindsey Lohan supposedly set in Disney World, the happiest place on earth)? Rob and I were joking that one of the lines she completely loses it on is "Well, it's official. I can't have children!" So, laughingly we decided to name our embryos Debbie and Nancy.
We then traveled across the hall to have Transfer. By this time the Valium has really kicked in and I'm relaxed. They check to see if my bladder is full, and as always, it was too full. I had to go empty a bit out. Not fun. Then Doctor Stassart comes in. Joanie - my FAVORITE nurse there - goes through everything with us; what's about to go down, even though we've been there lots of times before. Dr. Stassart gave us an article about how promising the uterine scraping we had done in November has been to successful outcomes. Maybe that will be the trick this time! We mentioned to Dr. Stassart about how we were nervous that this was our last time and he threw something out there that if we wanted, he would be willing to continue to work with us because we did have success one time. He said if we had three rounds of no pregnancy then he would say we could be done, but it was like he was hinting that for the same $26,000 we could keep trying. He said we could talk about it after we know the results of this round. While that is encouraging that he believes this could work for us, part of me is just really, and I mean REALLY, ready to walk away from IVF...but there's that part of me that isn't ready to walk away from the idea of having our own baby, a little Jennine/Rob. BUT, adoption sounds more exciting and wonderful each day. One step at a time. And, I believe it's out of my control anyway. Only God knows how this story ends.
The transfer took some time. Dr. Stassart had a hard time getting the catheter exactly where he wanted it because my ovaries are so huge. Stupid ovaries. Eventually it was time to bring in Will who shoots the little guys (or in this case, little ladies) into their new home. Then, it's all over. Will confirms that they are all out of the tube, and then I lay there for 6 minutes, put on my clothes, go to the bathroom, and go home.
The drive home was treacherous. Poor Robbie. We didn't get home until 7:00pm. Once home I went straight to bed since I had to lay flat with just one pillow. Rob made me a BLTsandwich in bed. Before long I was sleeping...I guess HGTV wasn't holding my interest.
This morning I got up and took my meds. While I was peeing, my cat decided to eat a plastic wrapper out of the garbage can. Since I was on the toilet, I couldn't jump up and wrangle it away from him. (TMI, sorry). So, I yelled, and screamed, and then jumped up and pulled it away from him. I'm sure that extreme overreaction was good for implantation. I suck. So, now I am just resting on the couch. I have to remember that it's not little incidents like that that prevent pregnancy. But, it weighs heavily on you when you know they just want you laying around yet you're yelling and wrestling with a cat instead. Ugh!
Our first blood pregnancy test is scheduled for 12/26 and our second confirmation test is scheduled for 12/27. Unusual that they are just 1 day apart, but that is because they didn't want me to have to wait the weekend to find out. They said they just need to see that the numbers are growing at a certain ratio---doesn't matter if it's 1 day or 2 days in between. Again, odd. So, I will probably break the rules and take a pregnancy test on CHRISTMAS DAY. That way, if I am pregnant, what a great Christmas present! And, if I'm not, then I can tell everyone at family Christmas instead of listening to them all "hope" that it worked. :)
So that's it for now. Sorry for such a long blog! Back to bedrest I go!
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