Tomorrow we leave for MN, again. We will try our last frozen embryo which will be transferred on the 14th. I figured I should start my blog up again just in case there is any good news to report on down the road. :)
One thing I wanted to include was some excerpts from and email I received from a co-worker today who has been through infertility herself and who ended up adopting her beautiful children. What she emailed me today spoke directly to my heart and summed up exactly how I feel. She "gets" it. Here's what she wrote:
Jennine, you are very very strong. you and your husband will have a baby, I just know it. one way or the other. I know how frustrating and long this has been for you. it is also hard when people around us get pregnant with no problems. we wish them the best but it is hard to watch. I am crossing my fingers for you and praying that this works. it is not easy, any of it. You can only put a good face on it and try to carry on, like you say.
you deserve the best, just like every other couple who tries to have a baby. it's hard to have patience but that is all you can do for now. I know it is hard and that is why I don’t ask you about it all the time. I know you are busy being strong about this but that doesn’t mean it's easy. It's the hardest thing ever. But it'll pay off Jennine, one way or the other. then you can tell your kid someday what you went thru to get her or him. that you already loved her so very much. You will amaze your child someday!
you are
a person with feelings just like any body else. Just because you have this to do
does not mean you chose it for yourself, obviously. and also, you are not a
football game with everyone cheering for you. you are just regular people who
didn’t ask for this. You are a naturally optomistic person who hopes for the
very best but also has to be realistic. fertility is something other people take
for granted and so they are at somewhat of a loss with what to say to you. they
don’t really get it, even if they mean well. Also, they don’t know how long it
takes and they just think well next month then, if not this month. but it
doesn’t work like that. it becomes very clinical with all the doctors, but you
and your husband are still people. and deserve a baby too. and you will get one,
it just takes a bit more effort. I am rooting for you!!!
Her email could not have been more perfect, and I needed to hear it today.
Heard the Katy Perry song "Roar" for the first time this weekend. Love it! The lyrics are about continuing to be a fighter even when things are getting you down. It is a song directed towards a person that is holding her down, but I think for me it is a song directed at infertility. I am roaring back at it with all my might!
Tomorrow we head out to MN but we are going to make a fun day out of it. We're leaving at 8am after we sleep in a little. Going to Top Dog to purchase RIR sweatshirts (Did you know the founder of Top Dog used to run his business out of MY BASEMENT!? Before I lived here of course...but the house I live in now used to be his, and he used to run Industrial Nameplate, the parent company of Top Dog, out of his basement - in 1973 - which is now my basement...and is currently in shambles). :) After Top Dog we have to stop at the shop to drop off Rob's golf clubs for Chad to use. Then it's off to Cabellas, then to the Red Eye Brewery in Wausau for lunch. When we get to MN we will meet our friends for dinner, then it's back to the hotel by 9pm for my butt shot.
Transfer isn't until 1pm on Wednesday. That is later than usual. Will be a little bit of a bummer cuz we'll get home later, but then it's nothing but bed rest anyway. I'll be off of work through Thursday and back on Friday. Nice to have a 2 day work week, even though I don't consider IVF much of a vacation.
I will post again once we know how the transfer went. This time it took FOREVER to get my uterine lining to grow like it should...so I don't know if or how that will affect things. I just keep telling myself, we're doing this because it could work. Maybe this time it will. Good nite!
