I've been on my Lupron injection for 3 days now and I feel great! Want to hear how my first one went?? First of all, Rob and I had a dispute over whether or not to use the syringes that came in the box with the Lupron, or the ones that came in a bag on the side. After he thoroughly proved to me that they were the SAME, we used the ones from the box. First I sat down. Then I stood up. Then I sat down. My hand was shaking. "I can't do this." Finally I took the plunge, literally! I pushed in the plunger on the syringe and to my dismay wasn't certain if it went all the way down or not! A few moments of uncertainty, and I finally was able to withdraw the needle from my pudgy belly. I tossed it in our sharps container and gave myself some kudos - "I did it! That wasn't so bad!" I said with my hands violently shaking!
The next day I told myself, "Ok, 1-2-3 and it's in, and out." It worked like a charm. All my fear and anxiety from day one has now gone away. I'm finding the injections (these Lupron ones at least) to be a breeze. Also started taking my Dexamethasone. They are so tiny - like a pill you'd get from your vet for your cat - and you have to split them in half! How that little dose does anything I'll never know! That along with my birth control pill yet for a few more days, and my vitamin and baby aspirin has me on quite a regimin. Hoping everything I'm doing is working correctly and that we'll have good news next week at our Baseline Ultrasound appointment.
I re-read some info in my Survival Guide book that reminded me to take it easy throughout this process and to reduce my stress level. I'm thinking this long weekend will help with that. Also I've been trying to pray a little bit here and there, but it always comes out kind of awkwardly. I'll keep working on that. I mean, I've seen the movie Bruce Almighty, I know what God's email account looks like...but I'm hoping he hears me and that he allows this to work out for us!
Heading up to Shawano tonight and I must pack my meds to bring along. I have a plan for how to keep it refrigerated yet still get it up there in one piece. So much to think about these days. Speaking of things to think about - Rob and I have tossed some baby names around...I know...getting WAY too far ahead of ourselves here...but it's fun to dream. I think when I see my embryos, since I know I will have plenty of good ones, I will call them by name. :) It may help them feel welcomed to implant. LOL! And, on another positive (?) note, I did read in my survival guide that women who are more likely to hyperstimulate (bad) - case in point - me - the PCOS girl - also have higher pregnancy rates (good). I'll take that statistic to the bank!
Not much else to blog about at the moment...just hanging in there injecting everyday like a good girl. Crazy to think though that if my retrieval does in fact fall on the 17th, we are only 17 days away from go-time! In some cases that may sound like a long time...but to me it sounds like just over 2 weeks. Throw in a holiday weekend and we're looking at the time flying by faster than a hummingbird with a jet-pack.
Getting so excited now - can't believe things are finally happening and that I can see the finish line. Reminds me of my 1/2 marathon - which I am in no shape to ever do again at this point - but just nearly a year ago I was running, and running, and running, and when you see that finish line, even when you are completely out of gas, it is the most emotional feeling to know that you've finally gotten there and to have completed what you had set out to do. You cross the line and they hand you your medal. In this case, my finish line will be my transfer date, and my medal will be my BIG FAT POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST! But for now - one day at a time. :)
Happy LABOR day weekend everyone...ah labor...I think that's a sign too. :)
Friday, August 31, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
My injection selection
All you party people - put your hands up in the a-y-re! The show's about to start!!!
That's right - tomorrow morning I give myself my first injection! Here is a picture of my spare bedroom as it is currently being used - as my pharmacy laboratory.
That's right - tomorrow morning I give myself my first injection! Here is a picture of my spare bedroom as it is currently being used - as my pharmacy laboratory.
The picture hardly does justice to all the vials and syringes I have in my possession at the moment. This is what my life looks like for the next 20+ days....and I'm SO EXCITED!
This week began with me researching PCOS some more. I've learned that I need to eat healthier to prevent this condition from wreaking havoc in ways such as Type II Diabetes, or Heart Disease as I get older and things progress. Neither of those sound very fun (nor does the acne or facial hair) but I have to admit, the diet they suggest isn't too fun either. Reduce carb intake (pretty much all I eat), increase lean organic proteins, and foods high in fiber like vegetables. Yep, not too fun. Wait, that doesn't sound like me! Not too long ago I was all about health and fitness! "Who are you and what have you done with the Jennine from last summer???" I think I ate her.
Diet and exercise woes aside, I proved today that I still have what it takes to make new friends! A gentleman I work with sent me a work-related email from his wife's email address. I had thought, just from some work "clues," that this employee and his wife had gone through fertility treatments to conceive their twins. On that hunch I replied back to his work-related email, answered his question, and then threw out there that Rob and I were starting IVF. I got the NICEST response back from our employee's wife. I was right - IVF had been a success for them! This woman doesn't know me at all, but the commonality of infertility treatments seem to really be the glue that links some women together. I look forward to getting to know her and her story more, via my HOME email account of course! :) I told her about my blog. I just hope her husband doesn't see the picture of my butt bruise! Could be slightly awkward at the next company picnic! LOL!
I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights worrying about my injections starting. I dreamt last night that I plunged my first syringe right into my hip bone and therefore failed to give myself the proper dose of meds. Talk about a devastating nightmare! LOL! I'm trying my best to stay on top of things. I met with our nurse again this morning and she went over things with us. I made notes and as you can see from my picture above, I laid everything out neatly in order. I realize now that I've definitely made more out of it than need be. I think it actually will go pretty smoothly. After talking with my nurse today, the order of things made more sense, so now I'm just looking forward to getting going. Game on!
I've had a couple more signs of success come my way this week. A dear friend of mine nearly had plans to move out of my life, not entirely, but it would've been harder to see her had things gone through as planned. Change of plans however, and now she will be around for every moment of my pregnancy. We said, things happen for a reason, and I think that is why it happened this time...she couldn't be anywhere else for this big deal in my life than right in the thick of it with me, day in and day out!
Also, my mom and I were talking this weekend. Her dear friend passed away recently, and before she passed she told my mom, "Joy, Jennine will have a baby." At that time we weren't even thinking of IVF. I think my mom's friend is working some magic in the afterlife...and working magic for other people is something she was the best at!
And, when I left my nurse's office this morning, millions of thoughts raced through my head. About 5 miles down the road when the fog in my head was beginning to lift, I saw a Hawk. Thanks Michelle for watching over me. I really needed that right now! :)
Friday, August 24, 2012
Amen.
My thought today is this...if God's plan is for this not to work out for us, I don't think He'd be cruel enough to subject me to:
1. All my friends telling me how wonderful Rob and I will be at parenting
2. Dr. Wagener telling me in all the years he's been doing this he's only known of one case who went through all 3 rounds and wasn't successful
3. My nurse and I both thinking my miscarriages were so far apart that they are not related and that IVF is the key that will make this work for us
4. Finding Dr. Stassart only to have all his knowledge and expertise not work for us...
I think God knew when the time was right for Rob and I to start a family. I think that is why He hasn't made it easy on us. I think He waited for us to get to a point in our lives where we could financially afford IVF so that we could be mature enough and emotionally ready for what starting a family will mean to us both. Had we had children sooner, perhaps our lives would've gone down a different path, but this is the one He must have had planned for us. He must've wanted us to realize we finally are ready, and to really want children so much so that we would be willing and able to go through all of this to receive such a blessing.
I know, and God knows, that I am not an overly religious person. I fully believe in God but I, sadly, don't go to church as often as I should, and have a tendancy to leave God out of my day to day life. However, I believe that even with all we've been through with my family, and our lives together, I think we are strong enough to face any test. I think that soon a reward must be coming for the changes we've made, and the growth we've done. I think it's time for us to receive good news and unending happiness by finally having a child. I have to put all my faith into this because God would want me to put my faith somewhere! :)
We've been through some rough things, but in the end I'm still thankful for so many things. Here are 10 random things I can think of right now that I am grateful for:
1. My parents - for always doing everything perfectly when it comes to me...and for watching my dogs EVERY TIME I need them to. :)
2. My sister, who even though is far away, is my support system, my comedian, my sounding board, and my cheerleader any time I need her.
3. My husband for believing in us every day of our lives.
4. My job and my co-workers for being my family for the 45 hours a week that I am away from home.
5. My doctors and my nurse for having the confidence that this will work for us, and for having the knowledge to know how to treat me as best they can for a favorable outcome.
6. My pets, 2 dogs and 3 cats, who love me unconditionally and who just think I am the greatest thing on this planet.
7. My sister Michelle who passed away in 1999 who I believe is my guardian angel. (I saw a hawk right before we got into Woodbury to the clinic. Everytime I see a hawk it is a sign that she is with me. I see Hawks at the most unbelievable times in my life. I really do believe in things like that. You have to after someone you love is taken from you).
8. Rob's shop, our business, for providing us with the financial freedom to pursue our dream.
9. Our friends and family who care enough about us to read this blog.
10. My beautiful home and getting to imagine sharing it with a growing family.
As each day counts down to retrieval day, all I can do is put all my faith into this process and believe that it will work. Follow all my directions and think positive. And maybe pray a little too. :)
1. All my friends telling me how wonderful Rob and I will be at parenting
2. Dr. Wagener telling me in all the years he's been doing this he's only known of one case who went through all 3 rounds and wasn't successful
3. My nurse and I both thinking my miscarriages were so far apart that they are not related and that IVF is the key that will make this work for us
4. Finding Dr. Stassart only to have all his knowledge and expertise not work for us...
I think God knew when the time was right for Rob and I to start a family. I think that is why He hasn't made it easy on us. I think He waited for us to get to a point in our lives where we could financially afford IVF so that we could be mature enough and emotionally ready for what starting a family will mean to us both. Had we had children sooner, perhaps our lives would've gone down a different path, but this is the one He must have had planned for us. He must've wanted us to realize we finally are ready, and to really want children so much so that we would be willing and able to go through all of this to receive such a blessing.
I know, and God knows, that I am not an overly religious person. I fully believe in God but I, sadly, don't go to church as often as I should, and have a tendancy to leave God out of my day to day life. However, I believe that even with all we've been through with my family, and our lives together, I think we are strong enough to face any test. I think that soon a reward must be coming for the changes we've made, and the growth we've done. I think it's time for us to receive good news and unending happiness by finally having a child. I have to put all my faith into this because God would want me to put my faith somewhere! :)
We've been through some rough things, but in the end I'm still thankful for so many things. Here are 10 random things I can think of right now that I am grateful for:
1. My parents - for always doing everything perfectly when it comes to me...and for watching my dogs EVERY TIME I need them to. :)
2. My sister, who even though is far away, is my support system, my comedian, my sounding board, and my cheerleader any time I need her.
3. My husband for believing in us every day of our lives.
4. My job and my co-workers for being my family for the 45 hours a week that I am away from home.
5. My doctors and my nurse for having the confidence that this will work for us, and for having the knowledge to know how to treat me as best they can for a favorable outcome.
6. My pets, 2 dogs and 3 cats, who love me unconditionally and who just think I am the greatest thing on this planet.
7. My sister Michelle who passed away in 1999 who I believe is my guardian angel. (I saw a hawk right before we got into Woodbury to the clinic. Everytime I see a hawk it is a sign that she is with me. I see Hawks at the most unbelievable times in my life. I really do believe in things like that. You have to after someone you love is taken from you).
8. Rob's shop, our business, for providing us with the financial freedom to pursue our dream.
9. Our friends and family who care enough about us to read this blog.
10. My beautiful home and getting to imagine sharing it with a growing family.
As each day counts down to retrieval day, all I can do is put all my faith into this process and believe that it will work. Follow all my directions and think positive. And maybe pray a little too. :)
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
My meds are coming, my meds are coming!
My medications are set to arrive on Friday. We're having them shipped to Rob's shop so he can sign for them and so no drive by druggies can steal them off my front porch. :) When they arrive I will call my nurse and set up a time to meet with her and go over everything. It's so nice because she is as excited as I am! I don't actually start taking the medications until 8/29, but that is next week Wednesday already, a week from tomorrow. I also scheduled my baseline ultrasound for 7am on 9/6/12. Today online, just for grins, I put in my possible "due dates" into a baby due date calculator. So fun to imagine a 6/13/13 or 6/15/13 due date. Could it finally really happen this time? I really think it could!!!
When we were at RMIA on Friday there was a very attractive couple there who walked out of the back hallway. The husband was helping his wife walk by supporting her by her elbow as she leaned into him. He helped her take a seat in the waiting area while he ran to the bathroom. The receptionist told the woman she had went ahead and scheduled the "blood test" for her. The woman, in a slightly valium-ed up tone said "oh thank you, that is one less thing for him to worry about" as she motioned to where he husband had ran off to. He came back moments later and helped her up. He gathered her belongings off the ground and they said their goodbyes to the receptionist, who called after them "GOOD LUCK!" I watched them cling to eachother as they walked arm in arm, with smiles beaming, to their car. They had just gone through their "transfer." At that moment she had her embryo(s) inside her, and they were believing in the best of all miracles.
I stared at them as though I were looking into the future. I pictured Rob and I one month from now, blissfully walking, carefully, out to our own car, embryos on board. So exciting, and so amazing. I have so much faith in this process - I really do feel that between our 3 fresh and however many frozen cycles we can pull off, this will work for us! That's all I can do is hope.
That cute couple is now on day 4 of their 2-week wait. Whoever they are, whereever they are...I wish them luck as well. :)
When we were at RMIA on Friday there was a very attractive couple there who walked out of the back hallway. The husband was helping his wife walk by supporting her by her elbow as she leaned into him. He helped her take a seat in the waiting area while he ran to the bathroom. The receptionist told the woman she had went ahead and scheduled the "blood test" for her. The woman, in a slightly valium-ed up tone said "oh thank you, that is one less thing for him to worry about" as she motioned to where he husband had ran off to. He came back moments later and helped her up. He gathered her belongings off the ground and they said their goodbyes to the receptionist, who called after them "GOOD LUCK!" I watched them cling to eachother as they walked arm in arm, with smiles beaming, to their car. They had just gone through their "transfer." At that moment she had her embryo(s) inside her, and they were believing in the best of all miracles.
I stared at them as though I were looking into the future. I pictured Rob and I one month from now, blissfully walking, carefully, out to our own car, embryos on board. So exciting, and so amazing. I have so much faith in this process - I really do feel that between our 3 fresh and however many frozen cycles we can pull off, this will work for us! That's all I can do is hope.
That cute couple is now on day 4 of their 2-week wait. Whoever they are, whereever they are...I wish them luck as well. :)
Warning - graphic picture!
HA! MADE YOU LOOK!
Yesterday Rob and I biked over to downtown Appleton. We were cruising around the Lawrence campus when we stopped to look at an overlook. While stopped I kept my right foot on my pedal, strapped in. When I turned my handle bars/front wheel to the left to go, my bike started rolling left out from underneath me, and I began to tip toward my right. Anyone in this situation would've just put their right foot on the ground to steady themselves. Well, my right foot stayed stuck strapped in to my pedal. I couldn't get it free so I had no choice but to just fall to the cement ground, hard, on my right side of my body. So, I crashed my bike...while standing still. I bruised my butt, knee, elbow, wrist...and ego. Last night the butt bruise was beginning to show...but today it looks terrible! Normally I wouldn't dare post such "graphic" pictures online but below is a picture of my butt bruise. Good thing I don't have to start injections in my butt next week!!! I joked with Rob that I'm lucky I didn't break my uterus...but seriously...I'm going to need to be more careful. I need this body to do some serious work for me over the next 9 months! ICK!
Yesterday Rob and I biked over to downtown Appleton. We were cruising around the Lawrence campus when we stopped to look at an overlook. While stopped I kept my right foot on my pedal, strapped in. When I turned my handle bars/front wheel to the left to go, my bike started rolling left out from underneath me, and I began to tip toward my right. Anyone in this situation would've just put their right foot on the ground to steady themselves. Well, my right foot stayed stuck strapped in to my pedal. I couldn't get it free so I had no choice but to just fall to the cement ground, hard, on my right side of my body. So, I crashed my bike...while standing still. I bruised my butt, knee, elbow, wrist...and ego. Last night the butt bruise was beginning to show...but today it looks terrible! Normally I wouldn't dare post such "graphic" pictures online but below is a picture of my butt bruise. Good thing I don't have to start injections in my butt next week!!! I joked with Rob that I'm lucky I didn't break my uterus...but seriously...I'm going to need to be more careful. I need this body to do some serious work for me over the next 9 months! ICK!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
We know our possible retrieval date...
We're home from our super fun weekend...the lawn is mowed, the laundry is started, the grocery shopping is done - I can finally sit down and get to doing something fun - blogging!
First things first: To those of you following the "Coco the bird story," she arrived home safe and sound Saturday (after getting lost Wednesday night)! Cheers - applause! For those that don't know the story, here's the quick run down...on Wednesday night I was baking several loaves of zucchini bread because a woman I work with gave me like a 2 foot long, 5 inch diameter zucchini last week. I was making 3 loaves, one for Rob and I, one for the guys at the shop to say "thanks for holding 'er down while we are away on Friday," and one for my parents to say "thanks for watching our dogs while we camped last weekend and again on Friday while we head to MN." It was my first time making zucchini bread, and I made it from scratch. I felt so domesticated! A regular Rachael Ray. Judging by the mess of ingredients scattered all over my peninsula, I knew the Food Network would not be calling with any offers anytime soon though. All was going well, shredding the zucchini, easier than I thought. Adding all the ingredients together - should be easy, except I lost count of how many cups of flour I had added to the dough. Not cool. I had to "guess," but it was on our loaf, so I thought, well, close enough is good enough. I will measure better for the other two loaves! Then, there was the completely runny, mushy, doughy centers of them after a full 50 minutes of bake time. I pumped up the heat, cooked them longer....tried everything. Each loaf ended up with a slightly mushy quarter size spot in the middle that ran through each loaf. I was not impressed with myself. Rob said he preferred it that way though, so I'm going to call it good. I think he was serious too...either that or he knows when to lie to make his wife feel better. Guess I should work on my baking skills since I'm going to be a mommy soon! Can't send raw zucchini bread to pre-school and send all the kids home with salmonella! Oye! Anyway, while I was baking it was a beautiful night and the next day was almost like Friday to me, since we were able to wear some more casual clothes to work - Packer shirt day - and I was off on Friday...so I was enjoying my time at home - thinking happy thoughts. I had opened all the windows and doors to let the beautiful evening in. The nice weather out shined my less than stellar baking skills, and helped with my mood overall. At the front screen door I heard a knock. Our neighbor, John, had stopped over to tell me their pet parakeet had gotten out and was up in our tree. He wanted me to know that there were a bunch of "crazy people" in our driveway with a birdcage and some cereal, sporting their best parakeet calls. I felt terrible, and asked if there was anything we could do. I offered the use of our big ladder, and told them Rob would be home soon and maybe he could help. A little while later, Wendy, John's wife, stopped over with an update. The bird, Coco, was still in the tree. Wendy added that Coco was very affectionate, and knows many songs...she's clearly a very intelligent and loved part of their family. John and Wendy's kids were bummed out that Coco had gotten away. When Rob got home, he and I, Wendy and John, the neighbor from across the street, John's dad, and some kid walking by with a backpack on were all in the driveway pleading with Coco to come home. Rob and I finally excused ourselves to check on our bread that was baking, or perhaps I should say not baking, and we went inside. We had left our driveway lights on so Coco's cage could stay outside. We all hoped she'd fly home once night fell. At 9:30pm, I let Rodger and Cecil out to do their business in the backyard before bed. In the shimmer of garage lights I saw Wendy sitting on the ground in the middle of our driveway, with Coco's empty cage at her side. I felt terrible for her. I couldn't imagine losing one of our pets. That night and the next morning it stormed. Thunder and lighting - the whole shebang. When I backed my van out for work on Thursday (my Friday) I was careful not to back into Coco's cage, which stood alone in our driveway. Wet. No Wendy. No Coco. Thursday when Rob and I were packing for our trip, we still heard John and Wendy calling "Coco! Coco!" So sad. Thursday, at work, my friend Cheryl told me she was biking past our house Wednesday night and thought perhaps she was hallucinating, or perhaps she just biked by too fast, but she thought she saw some strangers in our driveway with a birdcage? I relayed the sad story of Coco's plight to Cheryl and my other friends at work. Everyone was so concerned for Coco's whereabouts and well being. BUT! Dry your eyes, readers! When we pulled in our driveway this afternoon, Sunday, John was outside. He called over to us. He informed us with glee that Coco had come home - on Saturday! So from Wednesday to Saturday she was lost and alone, but ended up finding her way home. Animals are so smart! John and Wendy's son, Demetri, was at Boy Scout camp across the street at the church on Saturday. They were sitting around the fire in the morning and Coco flew past him. He knew who those little yellow feathers belonged to! She flew into their tree, and Wendy was able to coax her home. Coco was hungry, but is now home safe and sound. A real miracle for our neighbors, and a sign to me that good things can happen, even when all hope appears to be lost. :)
On Thursday night Rob and I had planned to drive up to Shawano. That way, we could get the dogs up there, along with our bikes. We would spend the night in Shawano and then leave for MN from there Friday morning. It would shave a little time off our trip, allowing us to sleep in, and the dogs would stay in our cottage until about 10:30am when mom and dad would arrive and come to their rescue. Rob ended up working until about 7:30pm Thursday night. When he got home I felt torn. Perhaps we should just stay home since it was so late? My dreams of having a relaxing dinner up north had faded into the sunset. Literally. The sun had set. We drove separate cars in the dark up to Shawano since we wanted to take his car on our trip and we needed my van to transport the dogs and the bikes. We made a pit stop at McDonald's for a heart healthy meal (ahem) and then hit the road. When we got to Shawano we unpacked and readied ourselves for the morning. We watched a bit of the Packers demise to the Browns and then headed off to bed. I was very worried I wouldn't sleep a wink from sheer excitement, but as usual, I slept like a rock in our little cottage bedroom. In the morning we were on the road by about 7:10am. We stopped at Kwik Trip in Shawano so I could purchase EXACTLY 48 ounces of water, since my instructions from RMIA were to drink 48 oz of water while there, prior to my ultrasound. While in a hurry to get our trip underway, Rob was not tolerating my need for preciseness, and found me two bottles of 23.7 ounces...giving me a total of 47.4 ounces. Not quite 48, but it will do.
We drove the long, boring drive over to Woodbury. Could HWY 29 be any more uneventful? We stopped once for a bathroom/snack break, and when we got near the clinic it was nearly 11am. We made time for a quick lunch break at Subway and arrived at our appointment prior to 11:45am. The first thing we had to do was sign an agreement stating that "if we have a baby, it becomes our responsibility, and no longer the clinic's responsibility. There is a 'no return' policy. So, if your 2-year-old isn't really working out how you had hoped, you can't bring them back." Seriously. Next I used the restroom as my instructions had informed me to do, and we had some time to kill in the waiting area. I began sipping on my first 23.7 ounces. First stop was the business office. We had to sign several more policies and agreements. We also forked over our payment. It's a lot of money to part with but is money that is being spent very wisely. Plus, if we have twins, they don't charge us double, so we're sort of hoping for the "2 for the price of 1" deal. :) The guy we met with in the business office used great examples such as "trust your doctor. You don't bring your car to an auto mechanic and tell him how to fix your car, do you?" Rob and I laughed since he does have people do that to him. :) We also felt comfortable since the gentleman had a 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dew in his office.
Next we went back to the waiting area. I had finished 23.7 oz in the business office and was moving on to 23.7 #2. And, it was at that time that I began to get worried. 48 ounces? I don't think my bladder is that tough. I don't think my bladder can power through this. It was seeming to be a pretty wimpy bladder at that moment. A nurse came and got us and we headed back with her. We went over some of our health questionnaire. I got to get on the scale - not pretty - but I mean - I was at least 23.7 ounces heavier than normal. She also checked my blood pressure which was high as well. Not cool. It was high after my surgery as well. What is going on with me? I didn't like that number at all. Time to make some changes to my diet and exercise routine! (Hmmm, I think I say that a lot lately. Maybe time for a little less talk and a lot more action). The nurse then asked me how my bladder was doing. I told her it was getting there. She told me they wanted me uncomfortably full, not painfully full. At that point it was hard to tell the difference. She told me to stop drinking the water. Darn it! Rob was right - I didn't need exactly 48 oz. Turns out I only needed exactly 29.625 oz.
It was then time to meet with Dr. Stassart. He came in and shook our hands. He was a man of few words at that moment. We then were ushered into the procedure room. I had to "let a little out of my bladder" which isn't the easiest task to stop once you've started. Kind of like hitting the brakes on your bike when you're rolling down hill. You're going to slow down, but stopping abruptly is nearly impossible. I followed the nurses trick of "count to 6, then stand up" and it all worked out just fine. I then waited in the room with Rob for the doctor and nurse to come in. Rob and I had a good chuckle about the rubber glove on the ultrasound probe. The probe was in the middle finger glove spot. So funny. The first ultrasound I had was with a full bladder. It was a trial transfer where Dr. Stassart checks to see how the catheter will go in the day of the embryo transfer. He measures my uterus to see how far he can put the catheter in before releasing the eggs. Again, Dr. Stassart didn't talk much at all throughout the procedure. The nurse did all the talking for him. He did mention he found a stitch inside which will most likely still dissolve (from my polyp removal surgery) but if it was still in there at retrieval time he will remove it for me then.
I then emptied my bladder completely (ahhhh) and came back in for round two. The second ultrasound was another sonohysterogram. I am a pro at these now. This was my 3rd one! He confirmed there was no polyp re-growth. He double checked my ovaries and that was it. Dr. Stassart and the nurse left the room and I was free to get dressed. Rob and I headed back to the small room we were in initially and waited to meet with the doctor.
Dr. Stassart came in and was one of the most wonderful men I have ever met in my life. I have so much confidence in him to know how to treat our infertility correctly. Rob and I liked him instantly. He has a Belgian accent and is completely open, welcoming, warm and friendly. He went over all kinds of things with us, but the most striking thing was that he determined I have PCOS! OMG! What!?!? Back when I was 1/2 marathon training I started to have trouble with my skin. I started breaking out in horrible acne on my face, chin/jaw line, and chest. I also felt that I noticed more blond hair on my upper lip. I went to a dermatologist for the acne and began Nairing my lip. I thought "so this is how it is to get older...now I have to Nair my 'stache. Ick." However, at that time, last year, I got curious and wondered if my skin and hair changes were hormonal. With all the running I was doing I was building serious muscle and wondered if that was throwing my hormones off. I did contact my doctor and had a blood test done because I had read online that what I was experiencing could be signs of PCOS. I wondered if that was what was causing all our fertility drama. I had the blood test done but it came back normal. No elevated testosterone. I also had ultrasounds recently, but those focused on my uterus, not my ovaries so I'm guessing that is why it was never caught. But Dr. Stassart sat down with us, and first told me that my trial transfer went well, and that although my uterus tips down...(most tip up, but I'm special because mine tips down), that things should go well on transfer day. Then showed me a picture of my ovary and one of them was obvious to him that I had PCOS. He said now that he knows this about me, he knows how to treat me. He admitted that this was most likely the cause of our "subfertility" and that having this condition means you don't always produce a quality egg for getting pregnant, and the sperm have a hard time penetrating the egg's shell. He said I am 1 of about a total of 10% of his patients with this condition and so he knows what to do to help me. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. It felt so good to finally know what is wrong with us. Rob's sperm count came back completely normal this time, so he's good to go, and now they know what the heck is wrong with me! He did say too though that if we were to have another miscarriage that Rob and I would have to go through chromosomal testing to see if there is a problem with his sperm and my egg matching up...but I'm hoping that by being treated for PCOS and doing IVF we won't have another miscarriage! Let's all really hope that doesn't happen, mmmk? He did tell me the best way to manage my condition is to stay as thin as possible. He said if I were 50 pounds heavier I would most likely have a beard. Not something a lady ever wants to hear. Can anyone say "motivation to lose weight?" He then went over all kinds of scenarios with us about how our treatment will go...when we can expect to be at retrieval, etc. The meeting was an unexplainable confidence booster. I trust completely in Dr. Stassart and this process, and I think, throughout our 3 fresh cycles and how ever many frozen we may have, we will be successful.
We then met with our scheduling nurse. Ready for some dates people? Drumroll please....
8/17/12 - I was taken off birth control pills (I had been on them since 6/27. Had all my polyp stuff never happened, we'd be further along in this process by now. However, it has been a blessing that I've been on the pill this long because they like to see that for patients with PCOS. So, thank you polyp, for that.)
8/23/12 - I will go back on birth control. They just want me to have a little break for now.
8/29/12 - I will start my Lupron injections, which will help suppress my ovaries along with the pill.
8/29/12 - I will start taking Dexamethasone - which is a pill to help control my PCOS (it will suppress my overactive male hormones that I have raging in my body!) "Yeah, rock on dude - high five brother!" My impression of my male hormones
9/3/12 - I will go off of birth control pills but stay on Lupron
9/6/12 - I will have a baseline ultrasound to make sure everything is supressed enough
9/8/12 - I will start my Gonadotropins, or my stimulating hormone injections to start growing my follicles on my ovaries
9/17/12 is our tentative retrieval date.
Then, depending on if we have a day 3 or day 5 transfer, that could be on 9/20 or 9/22. Again, this is dependent upon our retrieval date, which could get pushed back if I need to be on stimulating meds longer than expected. (Day 3 or Day 5 transfers are hard to explain...but the embriologists make that determination based on how the little guys are growing after fertilization).
I will also be on 2 antibiotics, and am already on a baby aspirin and multi vitamin with Folic acid. Rob will be on an antibiotic as well.
Lots of drugs, and that's just the beginning. Afterward I get put on progesterone, but unlike many of my friends who've had to do injections of progesterone in oil intramuscularly in their buttocks...I am just going to have a vaginal suppository. I like the sound of that! One less injection, and those are pretty major ones at that.
If things don't work out, they will tweak our program based on what they saw on round one and try again. We're really hoping for first time success, but if at first you don't succeed, try try again!
We finished out our day with the injection training. The nurse was so helpful. We were given instructions and even a USB with instructions for our home computer. Rob practiced mixing my meds. We think we've got it down, but it's slightly intimidating. When I think about how many have gone this path before us though, I am sure we can figure it out.
Rob and I were both so impressed with RMIA. EVERYONE was so friendly and great to work with. They kept us on schedule. It was a pleasant visit...and I can't wait to go back! :)
We then met up with our friends Troy and Alana. We were able to tour their new shop and meet their beautiful daughter. Every time we see them we have such a great time. We are truly blessed to have met them...they are 2 of the nicest people on the planet. To think that we got to know them by staring into their eyes, literally, for nearly an hour at a time, in California, always blows my mind. (To those of you wondering - what? That's how they make new friends? Yes, that is truly how we met these people). We are so proud of their accomplishments - opening a 2nd successful shop - and it's great to get together with them and share ideas about business, but also just to laugh as the friends that I know we'll be for an entire lifetime; it is just heart-warming. Thanks for a great visit and a fun dinner out, Troy, Alana, and Lexie! Can't wait to see you again in September. We'll be in touch!
Next it was time for the journey home. Those of you still reading this are probably like "OK, wrap it up, honey." Our drive home was less than fun. We were SO tired. We had a few laughs as Rob tried to keep it straight and into the wind with toothpicks in his eyelids. We thought about getting a hotel room in Chippewa Falls, and had a near miss with a deer on 29 just outside of Wausau. We were so grateful to pull into the driveway at the cottage - sometime around 11:10pm. We debriefed my mom and dad on the events of our day, in NO great detail whatsoever, and took our tired pups to our cottage to sleep.
Saturday we capped of the weekend with a visit from Randy and Alyson. The cottage is so fun, but it's REALLY fun when you have people to share it with. They arrived around 10:30am. We told them the details of our trip (perhaps too many details for my brother-in-law...he probably could've skipped the parts about my ultrasounds and my possibility for beard growth, but he was a trooper and listened anyway). We had some chips and dip for lunch, dragged Randy and Rob around on some skis behind the boat, then strapped on our gear for a nice long bike ride. We did a 20 mile bike ride from our cottage, to the county park and back. It was the longest ride of my life and I'm so happy I accomplished it. We rode in true Tour de France style, drafting just off the back of each other's tires. I did my best bringing up the rear!!! It was so fun to be active and just have fun doing it! Plus, you know what they say "some exercise each day will keep your PCOS beard away." We then changed for dinner at Classics Supper Club. We all had good food, and the 3 of them enjoyed good prices on Old Fashioneds. :) We all made room for a treat from the Dairy Cove and then made it home in time for a serious Scrabble game. We laughed so hard during Scrabble that I had tears in my eyes. This morning Rob and Randy golfed and Alyson and I took Rodger and Cecil on a nice long walk. We finished our visit with a tasty breakfast at The Cecil Diner. I think the saying goes "you're only as good as the company you keep." In that case, we're doing pretty good. :) What a great weekend with them visiting. Below is a picture of Alyson and Rodger. He was in love with her, as his excessive licking proved, and he was devastated when she left.
And when Randy said, when referring to what good parents Rob and I will be: "If I was going to be anyone's kid, I would want to be your guys' kid."
And when I saw on the calendar that 8/17/12, Friday, the day of our trip, was a New Moon - which is symbolic of new beginnings, a fresh start, and rebirth.
So let the fun begin. Stay tuned because as the dates above unfold, I'm sure there'll be much to report. Looking forward to sharing all of it with you. Please keep us in your thoughts that it all works out for us. Thanks to all of you for your continued support!
PS - the furry gremlin's name is Gizmo.
Monday, August 13, 2012
I'm hearing Rebecca Black lyrics...
Hoping more people than just me know the "Friday" song by Rebecca Black - an Internet "sensation"....or maybe more like an Internet "mockery"? It was made fun of on all media outlets, and the song was even covered on "Glee."
Lyrics:
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Anywho...I'm pumped about FRIDAY because we are road-trippin' it all the way to Woodbury, MN to get this party started! Yeah!
I received some instructions today. Our appt. is at 11:45am...SO...Rob and I will leave early enough to get there by that time. We will have our 3.5 hour appointment, then we will try to meet up with some friends for dinner. After dinner, although we will get there late, we're heading to Shawano where mom and dad will be waiting with our pooches. Then Saturday Randy and Alyson are coming to Shawano, so we think we have the perfect plan to squeeze everything in!
Our appointment instructions are as follows:
1. Arrive at RMIA at 11:45am and Jennine is to immediately empty her bladder.
2. Begin drinking 48 oz of water between 11:45am and 12:45pm (while you are in the business office).
3. Once you have met with the business office and coordinated payment and consents, you will
4. then go back with a Medical Assistant. She will go over the 8 page health and history questionnaire and then check Jennine's bladder for fullness, and then Dr. Stassart will come in and perform a trial transfer procedure (essentially they are practicing where they will transfer our embryos).
5. You will then sign consents with Dr. Stassart and meet with IVF nurse for IVF dates.
6. Lastly, you will have injection training to show you how to mix meds and give yourself injections.
AWESOME! After that, things will really ramp-up and get moving. YES!
Rob and I have lots of homework to do tonight as we read through all our consent forms. There's a ton of reading to do there. Wow!
Friday is always the day we all look forward to, but this week it can't get here soon enough!
Lyrics:
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Anywho...I'm pumped about FRIDAY because we are road-trippin' it all the way to Woodbury, MN to get this party started! Yeah!
I received some instructions today. Our appt. is at 11:45am...SO...Rob and I will leave early enough to get there by that time. We will have our 3.5 hour appointment, then we will try to meet up with some friends for dinner. After dinner, although we will get there late, we're heading to Shawano where mom and dad will be waiting with our pooches. Then Saturday Randy and Alyson are coming to Shawano, so we think we have the perfect plan to squeeze everything in!
Our appointment instructions are as follows:
1. Arrive at RMIA at 11:45am and Jennine is to immediately empty her bladder.
2. Begin drinking 48 oz of water between 11:45am and 12:45pm (while you are in the business office).
3. Once you have met with the business office and coordinated payment and consents, you will
4. then go back with a Medical Assistant. She will go over the 8 page health and history questionnaire and then check Jennine's bladder for fullness, and then Dr. Stassart will come in and perform a trial transfer procedure (essentially they are practicing where they will transfer our embryos).
5. You will then sign consents with Dr. Stassart and meet with IVF nurse for IVF dates.
6. Lastly, you will have injection training to show you how to mix meds and give yourself injections.
AWESOME! After that, things will really ramp-up and get moving. YES!
Rob and I have lots of homework to do tonight as we read through all our consent forms. There's a ton of reading to do there. Wow!
Friday is always the day we all look forward to, but this week it can't get here soon enough!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Creating another Newhouse...
Since this blog is about Rob and I trying to make a baby - a baby Newhouse - I thought I'd blog today about our recent family camping trip and the people that make "being a Newhouse" such a wonderful thing.
Each summer we make one family camping trip to a local campground destination. Before I met Rob I had never gone camping. When we first started going, when I was younger (late teens, early 20's), I LOVED camping. Rob and I have even owned a few campers in our lifetime, we've accumulated all sorts of camping "gear," etc. Now, as I get older, I tend to be a little bit more of a camping party-pooper. I'm such a girlie girl that showering and being able to flush a toilet are creature-comforts I've come to enjoy in life. Having to give them up for a whole weekend of camping is a struggle for me, but I adapt quickly. Whenever we get to a camp site my first mission is to always stake out the showers and bathrooms. Once I know the locations of both, I can calm down a bit. The first night is always fun and relaxing as we eat our s'mores and laugh by the fire, but then, while I lay in bed at night, I just can't rest without first planning my morning. The thoughts run over and over in my head: "I hope I can make it to the shower before there's a long line, which means I'll have to wake up as soon as the sun rises. How will I carry all my cosmetic needs to the shower - what bags will I pack? Will I bike, walk, or drive? How can I sneak away to the shower without everyone at our campsite seeing my acne-prone skin? Should I put my bra back on to travel to the shower, or just hide under a big sweatshirt?" Seriously, these are thoughts that roll on a continuous loop through my head after I've had the pleasure of brushing my teeth with a bottle of water and spitting into the woods, and climbing into a sleeping bag in the back of my hot-roddy 2001 minivan. Once my thoughts quiet down I am able to get some sleep until my bladder wakes me up with a little voice that says "Hey! Hey you! While you can always sleep through the night at home, here I am waking you up in the middle of the night because the bathroom is 2 miles away, in the pitch darkness, amongst the raccoon playground and the other things that go bump in the night. Have a fun walk!" (Yes, that was my bladder talking). This weekend was nothing but pit toilets and a crowded 2-stall shower building for over 100 campsites. I was never so happy to see my toilet and shower as I was today when I got home.
HOWEVER, even after all those toiletry worries, I was still a good sport this weekend, and I was able to shower Saturday morning (I braved it this morning with just some deodorant and an early check-out home to my own shower). We had probably one of our best camping trips yet. Our family is getting bigger and bigger as the years go on, and we've seen all sorts of things happen during these outings. This year was special though. It was the first time in a long time that every member of the family was there for the entire weekend. We had no electricity or running water at our site, yet no one complained. For 40+ hours all we had was the company of each other. No TV. None of us were glued to our cell phones. We just hung out together. No one got crabby. No one got annoying. No one fought. No one cried, well except for Lauren, but she is only 4 and she only really cried when it was time to go home - which is just cute because it meant she had so much fun that she didn't want to leave. She was right - it was just a fun weekend overall. We, as usual, had SO many laughs. We also had so many calories, but we snuck in a few bike miles as well, so that has to count for something. We reminisced. We reconnected. The best part is we plan to do it all again next year - same site - same great family.
So, what makes the family so great? Start with Rob's parents, Joe and Sue - who have been my "second parents" for nearly 20 years. Each year they plan this trip, pay for the site as well as most of the food, haul all the camping gear you can imagine from their garage/basement/cottage/camper to our destination, make sure we all get there safely, make sure we all have plenty to eat, and on top of all of that try to find some time to relax themselves! Then there's Jamie and Ann. Our older siblings who've been not only family, but friends to Rob and I since we first starting dating. Jamie is such a hard worker that he tries to catch some zzz's at the campfire between taking all the girls for bike-rides, and helping to make sure the fire is constantly stoked. Ann, who this weekend was not only mother to her own two girls, but to their two friends as well, was amazing to watch as she choreographed everyone's shower schedule and dinner menus. Their daughters, Emma and Kayla, are growing up so quickly. Both are the sweetest girls with charming personalities. Pleasant, polite, funny and beautiful. Judging by the company that they keep in the 2 well-behaved friends they brought along - it shows just what a great job Jamie and Ann have done with raising them.
Then there's Cory and Becky - one of Rob's younger twin brothers and his girlfriend of a bazillion years. :) Cory is the life of the party with his quick wit and unending bounty of knowledge and information. His personality is very charismatic which I'm sure had something to do with how he snagged Becky - an absolute perfect catch! Becky is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and is irresistibly hilarious! I can't count how many times that girl has made me laugh in the years that I've called her my sister-in-law. She puts everyone's needs above her own and gives selflessly to everyone. Their daughter Lauren is a little bundle of absolute cuteness. If she falls, she gets right back up. If you tell her something, she listens. She is sensitive and smart and everyone can't help but adore her.
Next we have Randy and Alyson, Rob's other younger twin brother and his beautiful new bride. Comments were made this weekend about how strong their marriage already appears to be. Randy is so personable and easy to be around with a sense of humor that permeates most conversations and Alyson is a complete sweetheart and a blessing to have been added to the family. Both of them are hard-working, athletic, and health conscious, and nothing but positivity exudes from them both.
Lastly there's Rob and I. This weekend Rob tended to my every need. Moments I treasure from this weekend are how Rob can make anyone the perfect marshmallow, pudgie pie, and pancake. How Rob walked with me through the woods, and stopped to admire a chipmunk for longer than most men would agree to. How Rob picked wildflowers for his mother at my mere suggestion of it. How Rob was the first to get to Lauren when she fell running on the pavement. How Rob walked with me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. How Rob drove me to the showers since he knows how I fret about it. How Rob played baseball with the girls, and biked with them when they asked. How Rob held my hand every time I put it over by him at the fire. How Rob drinks more Diet Mt. Dew than beer. How Rob stopped at a craft store with me on the way there, and took the "old HWY 10" on the way home so we could remember our youth. This weekend turned out perfectly because I am married to the most wonderful man, and even after all these years we still love each other like crazy. How cool is that? :)
It was so fun this weekend to talk with this amazing family about how Rob and I might be adding to it - finally. At the campfire Saturday night we discussed twins, triplets, names, etc. We thought how at the next camping trip there may be a little one, or two, along for the trip. Joe and Sue helped us with our medical questionnaire that is required by the fertility clinic. Emma gave me a hug and all her best wishes that we can have a baby - and offered to be our #1 babysitter. We talked about how Rob and I might have boys, and how that would be for Emma to have a boy cousin. It was amazing to share our dreams and have them received with so much love and support.
On Saturday night Lauren saw a star in the sky. Becky helped her make her wish "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight..." Lauren silently made her wish - and I silently made mine.
If we have any luck in making a baby Newhouse, or 2, or more...I can't wait for he or she, or them, to grow up with these amazing people watching over them and nurturing them. And, while I will always dread bathroom and shower issues while camping, I also know I can always look forward to the memories we make on these adventures. Thanks for a great weekend Newhouses - Love ya!
Each summer we make one family camping trip to a local campground destination. Before I met Rob I had never gone camping. When we first started going, when I was younger (late teens, early 20's), I LOVED camping. Rob and I have even owned a few campers in our lifetime, we've accumulated all sorts of camping "gear," etc. Now, as I get older, I tend to be a little bit more of a camping party-pooper. I'm such a girlie girl that showering and being able to flush a toilet are creature-comforts I've come to enjoy in life. Having to give them up for a whole weekend of camping is a struggle for me, but I adapt quickly. Whenever we get to a camp site my first mission is to always stake out the showers and bathrooms. Once I know the locations of both, I can calm down a bit. The first night is always fun and relaxing as we eat our s'mores and laugh by the fire, but then, while I lay in bed at night, I just can't rest without first planning my morning. The thoughts run over and over in my head: "I hope I can make it to the shower before there's a long line, which means I'll have to wake up as soon as the sun rises. How will I carry all my cosmetic needs to the shower - what bags will I pack? Will I bike, walk, or drive? How can I sneak away to the shower without everyone at our campsite seeing my acne-prone skin? Should I put my bra back on to travel to the shower, or just hide under a big sweatshirt?" Seriously, these are thoughts that roll on a continuous loop through my head after I've had the pleasure of brushing my teeth with a bottle of water and spitting into the woods, and climbing into a sleeping bag in the back of my hot-roddy 2001 minivan. Once my thoughts quiet down I am able to get some sleep until my bladder wakes me up with a little voice that says "Hey! Hey you! While you can always sleep through the night at home, here I am waking you up in the middle of the night because the bathroom is 2 miles away, in the pitch darkness, amongst the raccoon playground and the other things that go bump in the night. Have a fun walk!" (Yes, that was my bladder talking). This weekend was nothing but pit toilets and a crowded 2-stall shower building for over 100 campsites. I was never so happy to see my toilet and shower as I was today when I got home.
HOWEVER, even after all those toiletry worries, I was still a good sport this weekend, and I was able to shower Saturday morning (I braved it this morning with just some deodorant and an early check-out home to my own shower). We had probably one of our best camping trips yet. Our family is getting bigger and bigger as the years go on, and we've seen all sorts of things happen during these outings. This year was special though. It was the first time in a long time that every member of the family was there for the entire weekend. We had no electricity or running water at our site, yet no one complained. For 40+ hours all we had was the company of each other. No TV. None of us were glued to our cell phones. We just hung out together. No one got crabby. No one got annoying. No one fought. No one cried, well except for Lauren, but she is only 4 and she only really cried when it was time to go home - which is just cute because it meant she had so much fun that she didn't want to leave. She was right - it was just a fun weekend overall. We, as usual, had SO many laughs. We also had so many calories, but we snuck in a few bike miles as well, so that has to count for something. We reminisced. We reconnected. The best part is we plan to do it all again next year - same site - same great family.
So, what makes the family so great? Start with Rob's parents, Joe and Sue - who have been my "second parents" for nearly 20 years. Each year they plan this trip, pay for the site as well as most of the food, haul all the camping gear you can imagine from their garage/basement/cottage/camper to our destination, make sure we all get there safely, make sure we all have plenty to eat, and on top of all of that try to find some time to relax themselves! Then there's Jamie and Ann. Our older siblings who've been not only family, but friends to Rob and I since we first starting dating. Jamie is such a hard worker that he tries to catch some zzz's at the campfire between taking all the girls for bike-rides, and helping to make sure the fire is constantly stoked. Ann, who this weekend was not only mother to her own two girls, but to their two friends as well, was amazing to watch as she choreographed everyone's shower schedule and dinner menus. Their daughters, Emma and Kayla, are growing up so quickly. Both are the sweetest girls with charming personalities. Pleasant, polite, funny and beautiful. Judging by the company that they keep in the 2 well-behaved friends they brought along - it shows just what a great job Jamie and Ann have done with raising them.
Then there's Cory and Becky - one of Rob's younger twin brothers and his girlfriend of a bazillion years. :) Cory is the life of the party with his quick wit and unending bounty of knowledge and information. His personality is very charismatic which I'm sure had something to do with how he snagged Becky - an absolute perfect catch! Becky is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and is irresistibly hilarious! I can't count how many times that girl has made me laugh in the years that I've called her my sister-in-law. She puts everyone's needs above her own and gives selflessly to everyone. Their daughter Lauren is a little bundle of absolute cuteness. If she falls, she gets right back up. If you tell her something, she listens. She is sensitive and smart and everyone can't help but adore her.
Next we have Randy and Alyson, Rob's other younger twin brother and his beautiful new bride. Comments were made this weekend about how strong their marriage already appears to be. Randy is so personable and easy to be around with a sense of humor that permeates most conversations and Alyson is a complete sweetheart and a blessing to have been added to the family. Both of them are hard-working, athletic, and health conscious, and nothing but positivity exudes from them both.
Lastly there's Rob and I. This weekend Rob tended to my every need. Moments I treasure from this weekend are how Rob can make anyone the perfect marshmallow, pudgie pie, and pancake. How Rob walked with me through the woods, and stopped to admire a chipmunk for longer than most men would agree to. How Rob picked wildflowers for his mother at my mere suggestion of it. How Rob was the first to get to Lauren when she fell running on the pavement. How Rob walked with me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. How Rob drove me to the showers since he knows how I fret about it. How Rob played baseball with the girls, and biked with them when they asked. How Rob held my hand every time I put it over by him at the fire. How Rob drinks more Diet Mt. Dew than beer. How Rob stopped at a craft store with me on the way there, and took the "old HWY 10" on the way home so we could remember our youth. This weekend turned out perfectly because I am married to the most wonderful man, and even after all these years we still love each other like crazy. How cool is that? :)
It was so fun this weekend to talk with this amazing family about how Rob and I might be adding to it - finally. At the campfire Saturday night we discussed twins, triplets, names, etc. We thought how at the next camping trip there may be a little one, or two, along for the trip. Joe and Sue helped us with our medical questionnaire that is required by the fertility clinic. Emma gave me a hug and all her best wishes that we can have a baby - and offered to be our #1 babysitter. We talked about how Rob and I might have boys, and how that would be for Emma to have a boy cousin. It was amazing to share our dreams and have them received with so much love and support.
On Saturday night Lauren saw a star in the sky. Becky helped her make her wish "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight..." Lauren silently made her wish - and I silently made mine.
If we have any luck in making a baby Newhouse, or 2, or more...I can't wait for he or she, or them, to grow up with these amazing people watching over them and nurturing them. And, while I will always dread bathroom and shower issues while camping, I also know I can always look forward to the memories we make on these adventures. Thanks for a great weekend Newhouses - Love ya!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Green Light
What a great day today was!
I went to my sono (that is "hip" lingo that is short for sonohysterogram) appointment this morning at 7am and was greeted right away at the door by my technician. Whew! My fears of not confirming my appointment were put to rest! I was ushered quickly back and the test began. The first time I had it done I had a different tech who walked me through it like a play-by-play...explaining that she did indeed see something and she would wait to see what Dr. Wagener thought. Well, the technician today started the procedure off by saying "well, we're here today to make sure the surgery got everything, right?" I said "YES! Fingers crossed!" So, having put that out there, I was concerned when she didn't tell me anything about what she was or wasn't seeing. We made small talk which always helps the akwardness of a transvaginal ultrasound, but that was it. She then left so Dr. Wagener could come in, and so I lay on the table and in my typical fashion imagined the worst...a uterus full of new problems.
Dr. Wagener came in not a moment later and we began the fun catheter part. It's so funny how your brain plays tricks on you. The whole way to the appointment I braced myself for the cramping that would ensue. However, as I winced from the one really "good one" I got, I silently laughed at how my brain had made it out to be something worse than what it was. I survived, of course.
Dr. Wagener got right down to business after first explaining that he really felt that he had gotten everything with the surgery and was hoping we didn't find anything today. Believe me, he and I both were hoping...a lot.
I couldn't believe my ears as Dr. Wagener told me "so far so good - the lining is looking really good!" I felt almost silly as I felt a big smile creep across my face, considering what was going on at the foot of the table...kind of a weird moment to get all smiley....but I told them, "It's just so great to hear such good news!" And that was it! The procedure was over in a matter of minutes. The first time it seemed to take so much longer, because they were trying to figure out what all the "crap" was in my uterus! This time, having a nice clear view, they were in and out! Yay!
I sat up and Dr. Wagener shook my hand. He genuinely wished me luck with everything and mentioned how we'd most likely be seeing more of each other - which of course would happen when I get PREGNANT! How exciting! I was able to put my clothes back on and meet with Jean, my nurse.
If felt so good to sit in front of Jean in her office and have some exciting things to discuss. I can't help but feel like I'm sort of a problem child. It couldn't be an easy road for us; of course I'd be the patient who needed the surgery first before getting to the good stuff. And along with that comes all kinds of questions... you just start to feel like an overall bother. But, this morning, sitting in front of Jean while we planned my infectious disease testing and Rob's semen analysis dates I finally felt like I had been given the green light to go make a baby, and Jean and Dr. Wagener are helping us get there. I think my smile was like a 1,000 watt light bulb when I walked out of her office this morning.
Tomorrow morning Rob and I both go to Jean's office to give blood to test for infectious diseases. That in itself sounds a little scary, but we're about 100% sure there's nothing to worry about there - and if there is - it will be news to us! Then on Monday Rob has to drop a semen sample off at the lab at AMC.
Jean and I discussed today how RMIA is no longer coming to Appleton in August (can you say "bummer?!"). There are just not enough people enrolling in the program right now for them to make it worthwhile to come here. However, Rob and I can go there for a day to pay our money, sign our consent forms, get our injection training, and I think get our protocol, etc. Jean said we could do that soon since the semen analysis and infectious disease testing results come back really quickly. I may end up calling RMIA tomorrow to discuss the possibility of a ROAD TRIP in the next week or so. Awesome! Now, if Rob can just tear himself away from the shop for a day. Oye!
Tonight we cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, and then took the dogs for a nice walk and went for a bike ride too. What a wonderful end to a glorious day. I am SO PUMPED to be moving forward, I can't even explain it. I must admit when we got the news of the polyp, I had a bit of a pity party. "Really? Why us? Maybe this isn't meant to be afterall. Another hoop to jump through..." but now that is all behind us. It is something we had to take care of to move forward, and when it happened it seemed like today would never get here, but it did!
Tomorrow morning should be a treat. My poor hubby is a needle-phobe. He is being very tough about it all though. I think it will be fun just to go in there together. And, from here on out it is he and I in this thing together. Let the FUN begin!
I went to my sono (that is "hip" lingo that is short for sonohysterogram) appointment this morning at 7am and was greeted right away at the door by my technician. Whew! My fears of not confirming my appointment were put to rest! I was ushered quickly back and the test began. The first time I had it done I had a different tech who walked me through it like a play-by-play...explaining that she did indeed see something and she would wait to see what Dr. Wagener thought. Well, the technician today started the procedure off by saying "well, we're here today to make sure the surgery got everything, right?" I said "YES! Fingers crossed!" So, having put that out there, I was concerned when she didn't tell me anything about what she was or wasn't seeing. We made small talk which always helps the akwardness of a transvaginal ultrasound, but that was it. She then left so Dr. Wagener could come in, and so I lay on the table and in my typical fashion imagined the worst...a uterus full of new problems.
Dr. Wagener came in not a moment later and we began the fun catheter part. It's so funny how your brain plays tricks on you. The whole way to the appointment I braced myself for the cramping that would ensue. However, as I winced from the one really "good one" I got, I silently laughed at how my brain had made it out to be something worse than what it was. I survived, of course.
Dr. Wagener got right down to business after first explaining that he really felt that he had gotten everything with the surgery and was hoping we didn't find anything today. Believe me, he and I both were hoping...a lot.
I couldn't believe my ears as Dr. Wagener told me "so far so good - the lining is looking really good!" I felt almost silly as I felt a big smile creep across my face, considering what was going on at the foot of the table...kind of a weird moment to get all smiley....but I told them, "It's just so great to hear such good news!" And that was it! The procedure was over in a matter of minutes. The first time it seemed to take so much longer, because they were trying to figure out what all the "crap" was in my uterus! This time, having a nice clear view, they were in and out! Yay!
I sat up and Dr. Wagener shook my hand. He genuinely wished me luck with everything and mentioned how we'd most likely be seeing more of each other - which of course would happen when I get PREGNANT! How exciting! I was able to put my clothes back on and meet with Jean, my nurse.
If felt so good to sit in front of Jean in her office and have some exciting things to discuss. I can't help but feel like I'm sort of a problem child. It couldn't be an easy road for us; of course I'd be the patient who needed the surgery first before getting to the good stuff. And along with that comes all kinds of questions... you just start to feel like an overall bother. But, this morning, sitting in front of Jean while we planned my infectious disease testing and Rob's semen analysis dates I finally felt like I had been given the green light to go make a baby, and Jean and Dr. Wagener are helping us get there. I think my smile was like a 1,000 watt light bulb when I walked out of her office this morning.
Tomorrow morning Rob and I both go to Jean's office to give blood to test for infectious diseases. That in itself sounds a little scary, but we're about 100% sure there's nothing to worry about there - and if there is - it will be news to us! Then on Monday Rob has to drop a semen sample off at the lab at AMC.
Jean and I discussed today how RMIA is no longer coming to Appleton in August (can you say "bummer?!"). There are just not enough people enrolling in the program right now for them to make it worthwhile to come here. However, Rob and I can go there for a day to pay our money, sign our consent forms, get our injection training, and I think get our protocol, etc. Jean said we could do that soon since the semen analysis and infectious disease testing results come back really quickly. I may end up calling RMIA tomorrow to discuss the possibility of a ROAD TRIP in the next week or so. Awesome! Now, if Rob can just tear himself away from the shop for a day. Oye!
Tonight we cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, and then took the dogs for a nice walk and went for a bike ride too. What a wonderful end to a glorious day. I am SO PUMPED to be moving forward, I can't even explain it. I must admit when we got the news of the polyp, I had a bit of a pity party. "Really? Why us? Maybe this isn't meant to be afterall. Another hoop to jump through..." but now that is all behind us. It is something we had to take care of to move forward, and when it happened it seemed like today would never get here, but it did!
Tomorrow morning should be a treat. My poor hubby is a needle-phobe. He is being very tough about it all though. I think it will be fun just to go in there together. And, from here on out it is he and I in this thing together. Let the FUN begin!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Where have I been?
Whoops - I haven't blogged in a bit. I hope I haven't let my fans down. HA HA HA! Hard to blog on the weekends because I'm not near my computer. A few things...
First of all - the comment left by my friend Jaime on my last blog was worded perfectly. Thanks for being so awesome, Jaime!
Tomorrow I have my repeat Sonohysterogram appointment at 7am, I think. When I set the appointment up there was some concern that it might not work for Dr. Wagener's schedule. The girl I set the appointment up with said she'd call me back and let me know either way if the appointment would work or not. I never heard back from her so I am assuming I should just show up tomorrow at 7am...? Then, hopefully nothing shows up on that darn ultrasound screen and we get the all clear to move forward! Things I've read online make it sound like once you have a polyp removed your fertility chances increase, so that's encouraging. I will let you know tomorrow how it all goes.
I checked out my horoscope again the past few days. Sometimes they are too good not to share:
Sunday, 8/5/12: Young children are known to ask "why" a lot. Why is the sky blue? Why does it get dark at night? Why do I have to eat my vegebables? You may be asking a lot of serious "why questions" now, Aries. Something hasn't gone right for you. But you're not a child. You're expected to deal with it. But you may be feeling more fragile now than usual. Ordinarily you are tough, and not a complainer. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. You deserve to get angry or have a good cry. But you need to know that there will be answers soon to many if not all of your "whys" - and the answers will be uplifting and inpiring.
(Sounds good, huh? Sounds like all the whys I had in the past about why we can't get pregnant or why we have miscarriages, and why did I have to have a polyp...may all finally be answered by IVF! Yay!)
Got to go now, watching the gymnastics I taped from last night. I'll get back to my good old bloggin' self tomorrow and hopefully will have some good news to share!
First of all - the comment left by my friend Jaime on my last blog was worded perfectly. Thanks for being so awesome, Jaime!
Tomorrow I have my repeat Sonohysterogram appointment at 7am, I think. When I set the appointment up there was some concern that it might not work for Dr. Wagener's schedule. The girl I set the appointment up with said she'd call me back and let me know either way if the appointment would work or not. I never heard back from her so I am assuming I should just show up tomorrow at 7am...? Then, hopefully nothing shows up on that darn ultrasound screen and we get the all clear to move forward! Things I've read online make it sound like once you have a polyp removed your fertility chances increase, so that's encouraging. I will let you know tomorrow how it all goes.
I checked out my horoscope again the past few days. Sometimes they are too good not to share:
Sunday, 8/5/12: Young children are known to ask "why" a lot. Why is the sky blue? Why does it get dark at night? Why do I have to eat my vegebables? You may be asking a lot of serious "why questions" now, Aries. Something hasn't gone right for you. But you're not a child. You're expected to deal with it. But you may be feeling more fragile now than usual. Ordinarily you are tough, and not a complainer. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. You deserve to get angry or have a good cry. But you need to know that there will be answers soon to many if not all of your "whys" - and the answers will be uplifting and inpiring.
(Sounds good, huh? Sounds like all the whys I had in the past about why we can't get pregnant or why we have miscarriages, and why did I have to have a polyp...may all finally be answered by IVF! Yay!)
Got to go now, watching the gymnastics I taped from last night. I'll get back to my good old bloggin' self tomorrow and hopefully will have some good news to share!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Disney can lie...
When you wish upon a star your dreams may not always come true. I heard today that the friend of a friend who recently underwent IVF at RMIA (the clinic we're using) did not get pregnant. She had her pregnancy test today and it was negative. I don't know this girl at all, just know of her story, but I feel for her. I know how excited Rob and I right now to have our surgery behind us and to be looking forward to starting the "fun part" of this journey...so it's hard to imagine how it might feel to have it not work out. My thoughts are with this girl. We know our odds, and that it may not work on the first try, but we'll keep wishing on those stars that it does. :)
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